I'm just a young mother trying to come to terms with he fact that my baby passed away. Why hasn't anyone helped me? Why did I come home from the hospital with no baby, and expected to go back to normal life? Should I still get maternity leave? I know it makes people uncomfortable when we talk about death of young children, should I not bring his name up? I've looked up support groups in my area. There isn't one close. I'm so sad I can't fathom driving over an hour to get support. There was no one to help me at the hospital, except a nurse that has been woking in labor and delivery for years. Why wasn't there anyone there to help me? I miss my baby. It's not supposed to be this way. 

Policy makes me angry. There are people under your policy. People who are affected and not thought of. Your policy making should think of my intense grief. They say the loss of a child is the greatest grief one could experience, so why isn't there someone assigned in every hospital in American that has a labor and delivery unit? We are supposed to leave the hospital with a baby, and take him home to a fully decorated room. Now I have to take my empty carseat home and stare at a nursery with no baby to put in a crib. Do I have a funeral? The nurse said it's my choice. But what do people do? No one talks about this. Infant death is uncomfortable. I get that. But what do I do now?

This is so much bigger than me. I now realize this is a hospital systems and policies problem. No parents should have to navigate and suffer the death of their infants alone. However, it's happening every day in America, the most developed country in the world thousands of parents are navigating the death of their infant all on their own. 

I came into this wanting to help parents and families. I'm learning now This is a bigger problem than just me. This is a hospital problem This is a policy problem. This is a problem that ends a big fix, but how do we do that? It starts with one hospital at a time. I will show the research of why there needs to be a designated bereavement person for labor and delivery units, or that the social worker for the NICU needs to share space with L&D. Then I will take what I learn from one hospital and combine it with the research and put together a program to send to other hospitals about why this is a policy that needs to be instituted into every maternity unit in America. This is a big task that won't happen overnight, but needs to happen regardless.